Online dating for cyclists
Gary Kremen: a self-proclaimed “loser” from Skokie, Illinois who, in the early ’90s, having spent a small fortune (and not a small amount of time) making phone calls to -per-minute 1–900 personals hotlines, decided it would be imminently more efficient if he could find women by looking them up in a searchable database. Now, it’s going to take a minute, but I want to explain that dating apps are simply a faster type of bicycle, and that dating apps have done the exact same thing to human relationships that bicycles did: They have rearranged how we relate to each other by organizing their users around their functions. That hyper-efficient and convenient coupling may not be in our long term best, humans-living-among-humans interests.
That many of us today are just so accustomed to swipe-swipe-swiping that we forget that dating online is not just “meeting more people in less time” but “meeting many more people, in much less time, every single day, no matter where you are”, and is so cursory an experience that it fundamentally changes what it means to value another living, breathing, bones-and-a-butt person.
Then, a few days ago, I finally decided to try it out. However easy it would be, I didn’t notice anything fishy as I browsed through some user profiles.
For the most part I just wanted to write a review about it for this site. And Cycling Singles is definitely aware of this possible issue, as they have posted recommendations on dating and safety issues. I filled out more of my profile, which consists of a bunch of optional questions.
But luckily I found this line in the site’s mission statement: “So whether you’re looking for a new relationship or just seeking new friendships, now you can find it in an environment populated with people just like you.” So I guess it wouldn’t hurt to find some riding buddies. Topics range from appearance to religion to your fashion sense and drinking behavior!
You can even upload a photo to complement your written description. I checked out the search function it worked marvelously.
Popular journals warned women that riding a bike could cause everything from appendicitis, to gallstones, to “apoplexy of the brain”. Women with bicycle face, said one digest, were “characterized by a hard, clenched jaw and bulging eyes.” They would appeal “pale, often with lips more or less drawn.” Weak women were in danger. In lieu of closed carriages, open cycling down the street.
In lieu of scripted ballroom dances, adventurous country rides.
But because of the fact that it was Cycling Singles, it drew me in.
Upon checking out the site, I quickly decided it was not for me!
Slut shaming is an attempt to make a woman feel ashamed of those choices and, by extension, dependent on a man’s. Your time (y) is simply the number of those decisions you can make given the speed (z), the bicycle. With a dating app as with a bike, you literally change how you make decisions because of your changed relationship to distance and time.
Anyway, this formula works for every manner of dating.