Thus, students who set out at a disadvantage can be further hindered by an environment that is perceived as uncaring (Linares and Muñoz, 2011).Validation helped these students acquire a confident, motivating, "I can do it" attitude, believe in their inherent capacity to learn, become excited about learning, feel a part of the learning community, and feel cared about as a person, not just a student.
And they cause all kinds of problems: They disrupt instructional time, interfere with student understanding, escalate into major power struggles that lead to serious disciplinary action, and that’s just the students.
In all of these cases, the other person has not learned anything new, you have not come to any new understandings or solved any problems, and you have very likely created new negative feelings.
Keep repeating this cycle and you have the makings of a problem relationship.
People on both sides of any conflict try and try to explain and defend themselves, to make the other person see something the way they see it.
But once you’ve given it a real try, you’re going to see some of your most difficult conversations get a whole lot better. It really is that simple, and it’s one of the reasons so many conflicts last so long and often escalate to ridiculous proportions.