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I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner.
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Yet every single encounter has been edited to emphasize Harris’s enormous clout within this community before buckling down and get into the specifics of what he actually said and how it might have negatively affected his audience.
For example, after the invoking the ritual reminder of just how thoroughly had dominated her understanding of how relationships were supposed to work, one particularly insightful interviewee spoke convincingly about how the Christian courtship model is unable to account for the possibility of failure.
In trying to warn people of the potential pitfalls of dating, it instilled fear for some—fear of making mistakes or having their heart broken.
In 1997, Harris wrote , a best-selling guide to the concept of courtship (an alternative to dating wherein “a man and a woman…
seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other” rather than attempting to determine their romantic and sexual chemistry with one another) when he was only 21 years old.
Josh Harris launched the “courtship movement” with his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
Instead of the drama and sexual temptations of dating, Harris recommended that Christian young adults find someone to marry in a different way, including by getting the families involved.