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"We know you're eager, but nobody can get away with a “How 'bout a blowjob? " request may seem like a good idea when you're alone at 2 a.m. The idea of a quick-and-dirty “Who wants to help me achieve orgasm?

Would guys feel the same way when I offered to discuss our personal and professional development over a drink? ) blunt messages to guys with sexy-sounding career titles, such as astrophysicist, early Facebook employee and “Hi, I’m Aziz.” A spreadsheet might have come in handy to track my progress and identify trends, but I just followed my nerd-loving bliss willy-nilly. I Googled him and found out that he is related to a internationally renowned groper.

Search for “[Name] wedding San Francisco,” and you’ll find a registry on The Knot.

Most of my lady pals have received unwanted solicitations on Linked In.

Hmm, a threesome with the Linked In rando and his wife? Ladies with more game than me should totally play on Linked In.

Go on Linked In and flatter a bunch of partnered guys. At press time Aziz Ansari has not responded to my In Mail.

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