Double up your dating

Here’s where learning to observe your thoughts and need for certainty—and not have to act on them—can be so helpful.You can learn to have more flexibility and embrace the unknown.When you like yourself, you’re confident in what you have to offer. “I will be rejected.” Another worry is that you’ll be rejected somehow; your date might not show up, he or she might not reciprocate your feelings, or they might not want to go out with you again.To help reduce the worry about rejection, remind yourself that not all dates will work out.If the answer is no, it doesn’t mean it’s because either of you are judging one another to be grievously lacking; it might just not be a good match.“I won’t be good enough.” You might worry that you’ll be boring or not have enough to say to contribute to the date.Rejection is part of dating, and it happens to everyone.It can hurt, but usually the sting wears off fairly quickly.

Embarrassment might happen, but it’s just one brief moment in time, and you’ll move past it. This is an example of how you can eliminate some uncertainties to make your date go more smoothly.

This worry can be distracting and take you away from engaging with your date.

While your instinct might be to monitor yourself to see if the symptom is getting worse (Am I blushing? ), the fact is that monitoring your symptoms closely tends to make them worse.

Acceptance is the idea that you can’t change what is already there; you acknowledge that you’ll have many experiences as you go through dating — some fun, others anxiety provoking, and yet others embarrassing. For me, when I was single and dating, I had major anxiety about paying the bill.

And you can’t control or prevent your emotions from happening. I knew most guys would offer to pay, but I didn’t want to offend them by not offering to split the check.

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