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Even though the boy I love is gone, I can’t help but hold on to the hope that one day -- whether in the near future or someday far, far away -- we will end up together. But as a whole, they represented something far more than just flaws in character; they were vices I fell back on.But there is danger in waiting for a life with your ex, a life that will never come. His imperfection was an armchair I’ve since learned to rest comfortably on.There is no point in dating your ex if you are going to focus on past problems during the present relationship.Shannon Steen-Larsen earned a bachelor's degree in marriage, family, and human development, with a minor in business management.You forget why the relationship ended or who ended it, and the two of you decide to start dating again.

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And this is the unfortunate ex paradox: the idea that we live our lives holding out for someone imperfectly perfect for us. It’s because things didn't work out with them, and we've got to learn to move on from them. Some of us stifle our love lives by clinging to the fantasy that the great forces of the universe will push us back toward each other because we were once made for one another.These flaws are what made my ex, my ex -- and they're the flaws I want my future lovers to have, too.I've convinced myself that if I search for my ex's flaws again in new people, I can kind of recreate him. To rely on an outdated image of the man we used to love is to lead with a naïve head and a faint heart.I’ve taken the bad habits I’ve seen in the love I once knew and imposed them tirelessly onto loves not yet cultivated. There are fewer realizations in life more difficult than coming to terms with the fact that you’re focusing on lost love as a means of distraction.My ex is a Band-Aid for something I feel I am missing within myself: his old soul. His astronomical, incomparable, unquenchable appetite for life.

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