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The most sensible approach is to be truthful to yourself about what you're looking for, and open in your communications with potential partners.
Don't let what happened in the past cloud your future, and have confidence in yourself.
Forming new relationships shouldn't be rushed, so take your time and really get to know each other first.
Remember that you are not trying to fill a void, so concentrate on building a good relationship first.
The children don't need to be involved until you have given enough of your time with your new date to know that it's going somewhere.